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[ the citadel's still ruined as anything, the reapers are still attacking, everything is still in chaos. but you know what? right now, kaidan's not going to think on all of that, because... well, 'sanity check' and all that. you can't think about these things non-stop and expect to keep your mind in tact, to not go crazy from it all.

so that's why he's sitting in the presidium courtyard, relaxing on a bench. it's funny when he thinks about it, how many times he's seen the citadel in ruins, almost like rebuilding it is a waste of effort sometimes when it's just going to get torn down again. there's bullet holes on the wall to his far left, scorch marks on the floor and few feet from where he sits, and yet people still take comfort in each other, the flowers still bloom. life goes on.

it's a good lesson to learn from, he thinks. maybe one some of the people he knows could stand to learn. he shakes it all off, lets himself relax for just a moment, take in the view as he hums an idle tune to himself. probably a pretty boring shore leave but all standards, but hey, who's there to judge? ]

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[Noah is there to judge! Actually, he's there to pick up weapons upgrades from the citadel's various shops while they're docked. It always seems like he finds a new mod for a gun he isn't using when they're nowhere near the place and, as much as Cortez assures him doing one or two long-distance orders isn't going to kill their budget, Noah always feels guilty about it. Spending money upgrading the crews guns he doesn't mind, but spending the extra money just so he can use his pistol as a backup rifle replacement is something that can wait.

And if he gets a minute or two to bug Kaidan while he's at it, that is just a bonus. While his Sentinel bro is apparently lost in thought, Noah plops down on the bench next to him - knowing it's nice that he can even do that these days.]

Credit for your thoughts?

[ the sudden company gets him blinking, looking to the man who's joined him. and it's kind of like old times, where they'd just sit and talk between missions, and it's a nice sense of nostalgia to have now that everything's been quashed between them. ]

Shepard, hey. [ there's a smile for the commander, a small thing but no less pleased, before his eyes turn back to the view of the presidium. ] Ah, don't think they're much worth the price. Just... it's nice, y'know? Even after everything that's happened, is happening, will happen... that - I don't know. There's still somewhere where you can sit and relax.

[ it's a false sense of peace, kaidan knows that. but even a false one is better than none at all when it comes down to it. ]

[Noah frowns, and sits back against the bench long enough to take a good look around. Then, he shrugs and sits forward again, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands.]

Yeah, I guess. Liara and Vega, and the others always come back looking recharged, you could say, and that's always a good thing.

[He lets that sit for a moment.] To be honest though, I kind of hate it. I've always kind of hated it.

[ he can't help a small laugh at that, giving something of an apologetic look afterwards - it's not nice to laugh at your CO and all that. ]

That doesn't surprise me much. And I can understand it. I admit there were times, back then, when I couldn't stand it either. Looking at how pretty it all was, watching people go about their lives when everything was at stake. [ although it's almost difficult, wrapping his head around how sovereign alone had seemed like the end of the world when there's... well, this. he almost wants to laugh again, thinking on it, but he bites it back. it's be a dry one anyway. ] And this place is far from perfect - you just have to look in the right places to see it.

I think it's a necessary evil, though. Need at least one place in this universe where you can just set your feet down and breathe, at least for a little while. I guess it's a matter of finding where that place is.

Yeah, I know. I guess spitting on all of it isn't fair. Especially not places like Huerta, or the holding area by the docks. Those guys.. they're doing everything they can, for everyone they can. And C-Sec, those guys too; they're alright.

[Ugh, fine, be all reasonable and stuff Kaidan! Noah leans back again, but this time he at least makes an attempt at relaxing while he's at it.]

I did find that place. Three years ago, on the Normandy. Maybe I didn't realize it right away-[a shrug]-but that's it, for me. Everything else, all this? It's just scenery.

[ hey, being reasonable and stuff is like half of his job. the other is being a hell of a soldier. you appreciate it, don't lie mr. grumpy spectre. and he'll appreciate the effort you're putting into relaxing, noah, because he does notice that.

he nods his agreement at the mention of the normandy, though, able to share in the sentiment. admittedly sometimes he needs a break from being on the ship that's at the dead center of it all to clear his head, when looking at the stars outside the observation window can't get his mind off the matter at hand - sometimes just makes him think about it more, makes it all that much worse - but it's incredible how it always feels like coming home again to step back on. and how that feeling never seems to fade. ] Yeah. yeah, I get that. Nothing quite like her. But it's nice to know there's one place you can relax, Commander - even if I never seem to see it.

[ a friendly jab? totally, and he'll even grin a bit as he makes it. ]

[Of course Mr. Grumpy Spectre appreciates it! Even if he doesn't admit it. He also appreciates the agreement on the Normandy being home- at least he knows it's not just him and Joker that feel that way!]

Hey, I relax! I relax all the time. I just do it when nobody's looking, so it seems like I'm busting my ass constantly. Clearly, I'm doing a pretty good job, so there.

[ and that just. gets a brow raised. this is major alenko totally not believing a word of that, noah. ]

Uh-huh. I'm sure. You know it doesn't count if no one sees it, right? [ he shakes his head, leaning back against the bench. he doesn't mention the dark circles even if they immediately shoot down noah's protest, even if they stand out like nothing else, because there's just some things you don't bring up so casually and he respects shepard more than that. ] So what brings you out here? Since it's not the scenery.

[Oh, this one's easy. This one, he's got. Noah raises his arm some and activates a screen with his omni-tool- it's a purchase list, with the name of the item and a small image of it to the left, the price to the right.]

Guns! And mods, too, of course. Even if I still don't really get why they can't make chemical rounds work with the thermal clip system, some of these new ones are pretty great. Put the right ones together and you can solo an Atlas with nothin' but a pistol. ...not that I recommend it but, you know.

[A brief pause as something comes to mind.] Hey, that reminds me. Picked up a couple of extra M-6 Carnifex pistols. I know they're heavier than the Predator, but the stopping power is crazy. [He types something quickly, and pulls up comparison graphs of the two guns. After a second, he types in something else, and it brings up another graph for the Eagle.] Or you can have that thing, if you want it. Vega's got no real interest in pistols, and me'n'Liara never really liked the Phalanx to begin with.

[ and he's not very surprised, shaking his head again even if his eyes skim the list with idle interest. guns and mods, just as noah points out, not an extraneous purchase in sight. which kaidan probably shouldn't encourage in the first place, but, well. who doesn't want to indulge a bit in the middle of the apocalypse. ]

... you haven't soloed an Atlas with nothing but a pistol. [ he just stares at noah for a second, trying to read the man's expression, disbelief in his own turning to concern. ] Please tell me you haven't soloed an Atlas with a pistol. [ a moment before the concern shifts into exasperation, and then: ] Why am I even surprised anymore...

[ some days, noah. SOME DAYS. when he starts talking about the pistols though there's a quirk at the corner of kaidan's mouth, a soft chuckle for the man's offers. he looks the pistol's stats over closely though, turning the stats over in his head, considering the pros and cons of both before he comes to his decision. ] I'll take on of the Carnifexes. Heard a lot of good things about them.

[He could tell you that, but then he'd be lying.] It was an accident! The squad got separated, I turn around and BAM- Atlas. At least I didn't plan it. Can't do that kind of stuff anymore. Have to be all responsible and stuff. [He grins a little. Responsible, yes, utterly.]

[Noah seems genuinely pleased with your decision, Kaidan!] Good choice. I'll make sure Steve knows to leave one for you. [He clears away the graphs and brings up a few new ones.] What assault rifle have you got? You're still only using an assault rifle right? EDI got us a bunch of Argus rifles, but.. it's pretty much just a retooled Mattock? The Valkyrie may be heavier, but her accuracy makes up for it.

'Responsible'. [ and he can't help grinning himself, just because. ] If I hadn't known you for so long, Shepard, I'd wonder about you. ... actually, never mind, I still do after all these years.

I've been using the Vindicator, actually. Can be a bit of a nuisance with its clip, but I've learned to manage it pretty well by now. Packs a nice punch for its weight too. I'll probably stick to it for a while yet. [ it's gotten him out of some sticky situations, man, you don't even know. ] Thanks, though.

Aw, you and your sweet talk.

[He frowns a little. The Vindicator, really? Is clearly what he's thinking.] You know how popular that thing is out in the Terminus Systems? I always knew you were a rebel at heart, Kaidan. [He closes out the graphs and shrugs.] Whatever works though, right? But we'll still have some extra, just in case you change your mind. Vega or Steve can hook you up, anytime.

[He lets his omni-tool shut off, and his arm rest back on his legs and just sits.]

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